For today’s Everyday Inspiration challenge I selected the Crowd in transit station image and as my ideal reader, for the Learning the Fundamentals challenge, I choose everyone who ends up reading this piece in one way or another:
Have you ever felt alone in the middle of a crowd?
That was the question that popped up in my mind when I first saw this picture. I am only 20 years old, and I have so much to experience and so many new places to visit and new people to meet. But for as far as I have seen and met so far I cannot think of one person that I know whose answer would have been: NO.
If you look at that picture carefully, you see many people, but most of them are in a hurry and the others are just checking their phones, so basically they are not even there. Well, yes, that is what you do in a transit station, you hurry to reach your destination, and you check your phone for the schedules or just because that is what people in the 21st century do, we check our phones.
But, have you ever tried to stop and just hold on to that moment and make a memory out of it?
In the past couple of weeks that is how I was feeling, despite the fun I was having or the interesting things I was learning or seeing. My ego will be holding a little grudge against me for saying this, but I was feeling alone in the middle of a crowd as if a piece of me was missing. No matter how many times I reminded myself of the amazing way 2018 started for me, and of the bright future that I could have ahead of me if I keep on going, I could not stop but having negative thoughts and beliefs. It felt as if I was just pulling and pushing myself to move around and function within a social group, and just being stuck in the middle without even moving at all. Until two guys fighting at a party threw a table in the ground and all of the empty glasses that were on top of it smashed. In just an instant there was broken glass all over the floor, and everyone stopped. We just turned around waiting for what was going to happen next. However, in less than a couple of minutes, the guys were kicked out and everyone was dancing again. I was just standing there in the middle of the dance floor looking at the people who were moping the floor and could not stop thinking: -Is this how I want to remember this night? Me in the middle of the dance floor being careful not to step on broken glass while some people are cleaning it? Is the image of drunk guys fighting the one I want to have for this night?
Despite me not wanting it to be, it was. No matter how much fun I had with people from very different cultural backgrounds, in the morning that was the only thing I could think of that night- broken glass on the floor. And that only because the sound of it and the feeling of fear of the unknown made me stop, look around, and actually see the place and make a memory out of it. If I had only taken a moment earlier to memorize particles of the night I would have had a fuller, better, and more positive image in my mind.
It is surprising what images we fixate regarding particular events, especially on those moments when we feel detached from the rest of the world as if we are the center of a crowded room but nothing revolves around us as if we were the center of a geometrical figure from a different dimension. A dimension where the center is not that point with the equal distance from every other point or the point where every other thing is directed to, but it is rather the point from where every other point tries to go as far away from and in completely opposite directions to avoid pointing towards it. Usually, these moments that we memorize are not controlled by us considering that we are in such a hurry to reach another point’s destination so we won’t be alone anymore. However, the next morning when I woke up with images of broken glass in my head I took a moment to create another memory, one that I would control, one that would give me a pleasant thought. I stopped and looked around and despite of being less than -12 °C and the wind, what I remember from that day is the beauty of the snow, the magic of the extremely high trees, the lake that looked as if it came out of Neverland and it had no end due to the fog. At that moment I was actually alone in an empty room, but I felt the least alone ever just because I decided to appreciate the goodness surrounding me and not allowing the random moments to decide of the memories I will bring with me home, but my self-awareness to do so.
So, for my ideal reader, everyone who will ever read this post, don’t forget to take a moment for yourself out of your busy life and appreciate what you have in front of you. By doing so you will realize that life is more beautiful than it makes itself appear at first sight. You might also see what is missing and figure out how you want it to look like, and in the next days, when you will be creating a new memory it will resemble your goals more and more each day that goes by.
Lot’s of love 🙂